THE ASYLUM - Emilie Autumn's Official Forum

Dearest Plague Rats:

I have been meaning to say to you: My god, is there anyone on any stage on any planet who has been given such gifts as my Crumpets and I have on this, and indeed every, tour? I must confess it -- I felt violently unworthy of it all for the longest time...that you came to the circus that is The Asylum Show and waited outside for hours and hours and danced and sang with us is one thing, but to realize that you had spent hours of your own private lives sewing the most intricate stuffed rats from scratch, embroidering clothes, painting pictures, crafting masterful jewelry, needlepointing rat brooches, and baking vegan muffins, and ALL FOR US...that, my sweet friends, was both unexpected and overwhelming. Indeed, the Crumpets can confirm how many a night I sat curled up in the Asylum Tourbus after shows, plaguing their dear souls with my tangential ramblings on whether or not it was right for any one person to be the beneficiary of such seemingly unconditional sweetness, and why oh why couldn't I just accept and enjoy it all. BUT THEN! In the Netherlands came the night of my monumental breakthrough! During our after-show signing, I saw this enormous stuffed rat coming towards me, all fluffy love and big mismatched button eyes, striped paws and ears and a big "4 o'Clock" stitched onto it's striped tummy, and to my extreme surprise I thought, "Upon all that is holy, let that giant rat be for me!" And, guess what, Muffins? It was!! My selfish hope allowed me to comprehend that, whether or not I feel I deserve your lovely gifts, I can still be delighted by them, and can display them proudly, as I look upon them now at this very moment, propped up as a great pile of treasure in the Asylum parlor, and glowingly show them off as I so often do. The moral of the story: We invariably take the bad things straight to heart while locking the good things just outside of it, but a giant stuffed rat can make all the difference in the world and can deliver the great slap in the face that shocks one out of their self-obsession and into the realization that it's not about me -- it's about US. Epilogue? Thank you all for all of it.

<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/FanPresentsSm.jpg" border="2">

***

Now that you know the intensity of my feelings, can you possible imagine how terribly conflicting are the emotions of one who is the recipient of so much generosity one night and stolen from the next? Or, infinitely worse, on the very same night? You have all heard me scream my warnings and demands of your collective help in stopping this, but I cannot say that my desperation is fully realized by anyone, or that the consequences of this desperation are as dire as they truly are. Every day of this past tour, I have thought of quitting it all and beginning a new and far less painful life as a muffin baker, for the confusion was absolutely unbearable, and my poor and feeble brain felt on the verge of explosion at every attempted thought. Let my flamboyance not fool you -- emerging from the wings every night required the fortitude of my ladies, without whose support I could never have managed it, and for the which I thank them most sincerely and always. Knowing with a near surety that anything I put within reach of the audience's grasp would be gone by the night's end -- knowing that anything on the stage at ALL ran every risk of being absconded, though I often cannot even tell how the thieves manage it, and not biscuits and broken teacups, nay, friends, but IRREPLACEABLE costumes I have spent weeks, months in the designing and building of for they are all born from my hands, precious and lucky tokens belonging to my girls whom I would simultaneously kill and die for, stage decor that is absolutely crucial to the putting on of such a show, countless rats, gifts I have been given BY YOU and have appreciated so much that they were given a place on my stage, and, finally, the very heart of my show, and, indeed, my world, Suffer the Bears I & II, and if you do not grasp how necessary Suffer, in any reincarnation, is to my relative sanity at this point, then to hell with you for you never will.

I know with an absolute clarity that, did I and my fellow lady inmates not put such effort and care into everything on that stage, were none of it really to matter to ME, nothing would go missing at all, for it would not matter to those who have no morality and were raised very badly indeed. They want it BECAUSE it matters to me, and for that, they deserve the worst and will get it in the end, one way or another. Indeed, blood was shed in the fight to bring Suffer the First home, and I will not hesitate to administer revenge again and again if need be, for I fear need will always be, such is the nature of the world we inhabit. But is it truly the nature? Who is to say that YOUR natures are not the nature of the world, and ought we not to take our world back? In any case, this is not some fucking band who writes shallow fucking pop songs they don't mean for your shallow fucking benefit so that you have something to listen to in your fucking car, takes advantage of your fucking devotion and, indeed, derides it once back ensconced in the luxurious safety of their fucking bus, cashes the fucking cheques, and laughs their fucking bums all the way to the fucking bank, for I have known brutally well many who do just that -- 'tis far from rare. No, we girls live in a fucking insane asylum, and every fucking penny I am blessed with goes directly into the fucking music, the show, and everything in it. Every penny. Every. (Worry not, Muffins, I am almost finished.) I give you everything I am -- everything, knowing well enough that it's going to hurt, but vainly believing that it is worth it, and so, when you steal from me, you take my very innards, and, sometimes, these are things I cannot grow back, not ever. As much as I would love to proclaim how little this affects me, that I am so strong I can rise above it all, blah blah fucking blah, I cannot -- it, lamentably, is not who I am. Were I born with a tougher hide, I wouldn't live in an Asylum in the first place, would I? Much as I command myself otherwise, this sort of mindfuck has the power to end it all -- at best to make none of this worth my while, and at worst to plunge me into an isolation so deep that I would never see any of you again.

How I wish that I could have typed this entry and stopped after the first paragraph, but as of now it is not so -- my hope for the new year is that it soon will be. But what is the single thing I have insisted over and over again? YOU yourselves have the power to stop it all. I know that many of you are already doing your part, and I cannot describe to you how proud this makes me. The Asylum Army is real, for you have made it so yourselves, and you and I are soldiers together in this. You have eyes and ears, and for everything stolen, there is at least one pair of either that have seen it and done nothing. I maintain, I cannot do it alone. So, this is the ultimate question, Muffins: do we let the criminal minority ruin everything for the rest of us? How shameful if we did. How pathetic if we could not manage this one small thing. Weed it out, my friends, weed it out. Force those who intend harm to the Asylum to crawl away in embarrassment, such discomfort must they be made feel in the company of those so much better than themselves. Whatever power these motherfuckers have, you have far more. With all my heart I pray you, prove me right.

With Love & Bloody Crumpets from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, Inmate A, Block B, Cell W14,
EA

P.S.
The Plague: Get it. Feed it. Spread it. Sluts.

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<strong><a href="http://www.emilieautumn.com/shop.html" target="_blank">EA's Shop: Music, Merch, More</a></strong>
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You're welcome!

I'm sure more people will read this and realize that it is better to open their mouth and speak up against the thieves next time they see things happen that shouldn't. Your post will definitely make people understand more clearly as to why everything on your stage means so much to you.

We love you EA! <3

Thank yoU!
Keep Kissing!
EA

Not at all, it is a pleasure and privilege, and the last tour served only to fill us all with excitement for what is to come and how far we already have. See you soon!! (VERY SOON!)
EA

I'm in agreement with everything the above poster said, and I hope that those muffins with the funds to attend your shows and, if need be, defend what's yours, do so!

Your posts always make me smile. It's lovely to hear from you, Miss Emilie Autumn. I hope you're doing well.

<333

Indeed, because it is OURS!



Very well indeed, working on bring you the next tour;)
EA

Would that i could do more to help stop the thievery, but alas, i haven't even been able to make it to a show yet, but let it be known, that should i ever chance upon one, the thieving will not be tolerated, lest it be me attempting to steal your autograph onto some trinket or other ^_^
Love you Emilie!!!
*hands you a vegan muffin*

Emilie, thank you! For the shows and the music and caring about your fans, which so many bands these days do not! I saw you in New York, and the show was beyond wonderful, not only your music which I enjoy so much, but the stage show was impeccable, humorous, lovely performance art. Hope to see you around those parts again! (And soon!)

Thanks darling, and your influence for good extends far beyond your ability get to a show -- even within this forum you have all already shoed away many who don't belong here!
EA

This might not be the place to discuss this, but I was making some sort of victoriandustrial dress for a doll, and I came across a cat mouse in the closet. So, as an accessory, the brown beat-up, rejected mouse is now a plague rat. So, cheers to all the toy mouses out there.
<3 ya EA!!

Only a couple of months until we meet again!!!!!!!!!
EA

Have an awesome 2009 EA!

Will be pestering my elders for a ride!

Please do, we will make it worth their while!
EA