THE ASYLUM - Emilie Autumn's Official Forum

Oh, dearest Plague Rats...

I ask you, what, exactly, is it about yours unfortunately that virtually screams out, "Please do approach me in book shops, tea houses, dining establishments, and on the street regarding your desire to do some modeling 'test shots' and shop them to bars and clubs as potential adverts for their D-list celebrity parties and 1/2 price martini nights! Yes, I would simply adore shooting with you, Mr. Amateur Photographer masquerading as a professional! Am I a model? Oh, no indeed, thank you for asking, but I am just so flattered by your approaching me and encouraging me to consider that line of work because, as you say, I have such an 'interesting look' that I just may consider it after being accosted by you! Despite my standing a mere five-foot-four-inches high, I believe you entirely when you say that I am tall enough to model -- why wouldn't I? Why on earth would you deceive me? Of course I would be more than delighted to give you my number so that we may arrange some time at your home studio! What's that? You have no website and have forgotten your business card at home? No matter -- I trust you. I'm free most nights...when shall we shoot?"

Do I tell them that I don't require their services to boost my career as they can find me on the covers of mags just down the street, or, better yet, in the next aisle over from the very spot we stand? No, of course I don't, because I would sound like a complete and arrogant ass if I did. Actually, I don't say it because I do not think of it in the moment -- just another of those myriad comments so apt at the time, but which we remember approximately 30 seconds after the conversation has ended. I'm great at that. We're all great at that.

So, Muffins, if you can pinpoint what it is that projects, "I am insecure, naive, gullible, and welcome your photographic advances," do tell. Do.

In other news, the Asylum staff has gotten into my archives, stolen my original lyric sheet, first and only draft, of my second favorite self-penned song, "Thank God I'm Pretty," (the first being "TAOS"), and is offering it to you mad collectors out there who prize such documents. I actually prize such documents, and have kept all first drafts of all of my songs, but I know that you will take good care of it and read it on your knees every night before you go to bed. I feel a bit sick giving this up, to be perfectly honest, but it is an exercise in my letting go, which, as a trained hoarder (learned it from the rats), I need to practice.

<a href="http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/emilieautumnsasylum_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZ" target="_blank"><strong>Say your prayers...</strong></a>

<a href="http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/emilieautumnsasylum_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZ" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/ebay/TGIP/3.jpg" border="2"></a>

With Love & Bloody Crumpets from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, Inmate A, Block B, Cell W14,
EA

P.S.
The Plague: Get it. Feed it. Spread it. Sluts.

Links:
<strong><a href="http://www.forum.emilieautumn.com" target="_blank">Fan Forum and Home to EA's Journal Entries</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.emilieautumn.com" target="_blank">EA's Official Site</a><strong></strong>
<strong><a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewArtist?id=134739652" target="_blank">EA on iTunes (with exclusives you can't get elsewhere)</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.emilieautumn.com/shop.html" target="_blank">EA's Shop: Music, Merch, More</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/muze_new.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442189713&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028381&bmUID=1226948543557" target="_blank">EA at Hot Topic</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Opheliac-Emilie-Autumn/dp/B001EN46H0/ref=pd_bbs_sr_6?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1220822574&sr=8-6" target="_blank">EA at Amazon USA</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.myspace.com/emilieautumn" target="_blank">EA @ MySpace</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://www.myspace.com/emilieautumnasylum" target="_blank">EA : The Asylum @ MySpace</a></strong>
<strong><a href="http://vampirefreaks.com/u/eautumn" target="_blank">EA @ VampireFreaks</a></strong>

Emilie - i just love all the stuff you put on ebay

why can i never afford it

you know - one day i will - until then i can dream

Interesting.

I agree the stuff you sell are always unique and wantable!

Oh, why, Emilie.. why must you always sell things that I would kill for. Yet all the knives are just out of reach.



... Meaning money.

That would be cool to have hanging up.
But I'm a broke art student. One day...

And I know what you mean, I'm a hoarder, too. I can't throw out anything. =/

Holy Muffins!

I may have to bid on this. My last winnings made by your lovely hands cost me a fortune though, dear.

Off topic a bit. I have some loverly chai I would happily share with you If you'd like.

Oooooooo I can't believe your selling lyrics :o... the frame on its own is pretty enough to have plague rats scratching away at their aching bank accounts but the lyrics are deffinately a genuine bonus.

Ratties, thank your queen now.

As for the carousing togs, the next time it happens you need to put on your best "Diva" voice and shout "Do you not know who I am?! I am the Queen of the Plague Rats! and your sleazy solicitations may incur my wath!"
Cue scared photographer running for his life.

OMFG!!!! *runs to prepare bank hold-up*

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I could afford them...

Oh, yes, wonderful idea! I'd like to join you if you don't mind! I'll bring the 9 volt batteries and my secret cyanide stash.

On the topic of the photographer: As much as I'd like to be proper at times, there are times where being an ass just fits the situation better. I would have most definitely said something along the lines of what you were thinking at the time, love.

my boyfriend calls this 'staircase wit' (as in, you only think of it on your way down the stairs and out the building) and, I am indeed a master of it

I am so broke currently...actually I'm so broke always and perpetually sad about it

p.s. in reference to the main part of the post, I think I got an offer to do porn over MySpace last night

Darling EA,

your beauty of course!
And the fact that you do pose very, very well if I may say so myself :3

That is a gorgeous frame, Mistress. Very simplistic but obviously hard-worked, as always. I wish I could bid

p.s. You're a mere 5'4"? I'm a mere 5'1"! Hurrah for smallness!
p.s.s. Your handwriting is pretteh.