THE ASYLUM - Emilie Autumn's Official Forum

Picture posted: December 14, 2009

So no, I don't think so. She was touring with The Key tour when she posted this, I believe.

^
Okay. Thanks.

I guess, she must still need to go for check ups and things like that.

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Tones sound, and roar and storm about me until I have set them down in notes- Ludwig Van Beethoven

I think she put the pictures in the book so it would be proof. She could say it all she wanted but unless there was proof, people may not have believed her.

i'm running on a very slow connection so i'm only going to reply to the op.

i used to take pictures of my cuts as a reminder that the demons i'm battling in me are in fact real, that this isn't another one of my hallucinations that i actually really and truly did this to myself. i did post them at one time on a self-injury awareness site, not for pity but to illustrate to others that are visiting that they aren't alone, other people fight these demons everyday.

i think that's perhaps the reasoning behind Emilie putting them in her book. to show that this was a very real struggle for her.

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I think many of us photograph as a method of documentation.

Given how much she seems able to do herself, I'd imagine simulating cuts with cosmetics would be among them if she tried... if I was the type to be all skeptical of such things, I still would be.

Personally I feel like her words alone break the boundaries of what's supposed to be kept private enough that pictures don't really change much on that count.

What the pictures do change I think is level of emotion in the reader. Because they do make it feel more real, or perhaps more accurately, less distant..

A lot of those thoughts I remember having, or things similar. It's nice having some of those justified a little to be honest... that it is a coping mechanism. Even though it isn't the best one, there's certainly more to it than "stop that, it isn't right." I'd say it helped justified those moments in my past, but that sounds wrong. It's still not exactly something I think I should repeat. But it's like seeing some of those emotions and thoughts in different words helped me make peace with it instead of feeling like those were moments of totally losing it. I don't know... *not being very articulate*

And frankly, I feel like there probably should be a warning on the first page of that section (or, hell, the whole book seemed to have pits and pieces...) saying it might be triggering of self harm to people prone to such things... but for me it would be cathartic if anything. Even if I was on the verge of cutting at the time, it would let out my some of that emotion without doing it myself, it wouldn't push me over the edge.

For me the cutting diaries helped me to question the reason for me wishing to cut myself again and do even worse. I'm bipolar myself and I was able for a quite long time to live with that and stop cutting and doing my stuff with a minimum of medicine. But then I had a really bad relapse a few weeks ago because of many reasons and went to a psychatic ward because I just couldn't take it any longer and was really afraid that I would kill myself. I took the book with me and started to read it again and I felt something that I haven't felt for quite a time then: understanding. It really helped me to name my feelings and the reasons for my relapse and I felt less alone. It made me stand up for myself and my needs and I'm really thankful for Emilie sharing this with us, because otherwise I really think that I might be dead now or at least tried to kill myself again.

(Sorry for my bad language, I need a bit practicing again)

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"A harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a tin roof." EA

Goodness, it's been a while. Hello again, everyone!

When EA first wrote the diaries she did so with the intent of them remaining private. She never wrote the diaries--or took the pictures--planning to share them with the world. That she did is a pretty huge feat. I know a lot of self-harmers or former self-harmers who refuse to share their stories with anyone except a select few. That's not to say that secrecy about it, or even selectivity, is a bad thing, simply that sharing it isn't easy.

The pictures weren't shared for 'pride' or 'pity's sake. They were shared because they were part of the story. They were shared because they chronicled part of her experience. When you're telling a story like this one, sometimes the only thing you can do is share the whole thing or nothing at all.

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SSS—Violet Lestrange, Second Mate
CMPC—Duchess von PyrateBitch
ILGG—The Dapper Haberdasher
QFVJL—Lady Violet, Marquess of Malice
ILL—Mistress of Suds

Expanding on the point before, it might be a little presumptuos to say but aren't we her 'select few'. Repeatedly I have heard her call her muffins her family, or say she regards them higher than her family. She may trust us with the knowledge, and to be honest from experience with self-harmers if your in the selected few they trust they show you. Most people don't tell you 'i cut my self' an then dont show you the damage they did. It leave those who care threating are it makes them not believe.

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'Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris' - Dr Faustus by Christopher Marlowe
It is a consolation to the miserable to have company in their misery

i haven't read any of these posts so idk if someone already mentioned it, but had anyone noticed how the "scrap of paper" with her "blood stains" on it is really a photoshopped close up of one of the pics of her cuts on her leg.


seriously. look close.

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it's always tea time <3
tweettweettwat
TFF: Princess Pretty Paws

^ I noticed this too. I think it's more symbolic than anything else. She mentioned how when her original "leech jar" was thrown out, so were her original blood-stained papers. She probably didn't make new blood-stained papers after that.

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If I'm correct she said something about it feeling wrong you know when you have your cup you always use and then its smashes so you have to use a new one and you feel dirty...I liked the paper clipping though, it was something i'd never really heard of and it kind of explained it better than her words.

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'Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris' - Dr Faustus by Christopher Marlowe
It is a consolation to the miserable to have company in their misery

Yeah, I noticed that. But most everything in the book is photoshopped to some point - scraps of paper here and there, sheets of paper, writing, doodlings, drawings, edited pictures, the diary pages, etc. It's because it looks far cleaner this way than scanning something directly in (excluding the paper/blood, because I don't think she even has those any more) and just placing it on the book page. Though the writing is hers in the diary, for example, she's used photoshop to clean it up and place it on a nicer looking sheet of paper for appearance's sake.

^i know. i just wanted to pretend i was clever, lol

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it's always tea time <3
tweettweettwat
TFF: Princess Pretty Paws