Well, I'm sick today (I want my tonsils out so badly), which means I'm trying to find low-energy activites to do as opposed to recording or making corsets. It's time to make a new bloomer collection though... Anyway, I thought, hmm, this is a perfect time to write a small book detailing the adventures of taping for HGTV about a week ago. There are many pics, so I think I'll post this in chapters so that you won't explode your computer trying to load them all at once. I'm so thoughtful.
<strong>Chapter I: "I *Heart* Nerds" or "A Handbag is Born"</strong>
Months and months ago, when I was out in LA for gigs with Courtney, I got an e-mail from somebody at a production company, Weller/Grossman to be precise. They were developing a new craft show for <strong>HGTV</strong> (yes, I do watch that channel all the time) called "<strong><em>Crafters Coast 2 Coast</em></strong>," and they were looking for <em>interesting</em> people across the country who made <em>interesting</em> things for what they described as <em>"not your grandmother's craft show."</em> Don't you love how people try to make things seem cool by putting down their ancestors? Apparently they had come across my <strong><a href="http://www.willowtechhouse.com" title="WTH" target="_blank">WillowTech House</a></strong> website and thought, "these look like some <em>interesting</em> things made by an <em>interesting</em> person," so they wrote to me and said "wasup biatch!" Actually they just said, "would you like to make your faerie wings on TV?" and I said, "hells yeah biatch!"
So then I started talking with the guy at the prod.co. who arranges all the <em>interesting</em> people, and he told me how they didn't have a host yet. So I said, "I'll be the host!" He thought that was actually NOT a crazy idea, and proceeded to send me the script (Hi, and welcome to <em>CC2C</em>, I'm Emilie Autumn, etc...) and instructions for how to film an audition tape. Within a day or two I had made the tape which consisted mainly of me going through the house talking about all the thing I'd made and so ended up being nearly 40 minutes long, and that's the edited version. Overkill maybe, but I had fun. I burned that whole mess to a DVD and sent it off. After a bit, I got word back that my tape was cool but they decided to go with somebody that the producers already knew and had worked with before, and I thought that was pretty sensible, so I'm like, "no problem buddy." The good news is that they were still coming to Chicago to film my wing making segment, and I'd really only put myself out for the hosting gig as a lark so I wasn't disappointed. Then, I got word that they hadn't found enough people in Chicago to justify coming out here for the first season of the show, but that they'd be here to tape the second season. Cool.
Then about a month ago, I was having my morning tea and HGTV happened to be on when up comes <strong>"CC2C"</strong>! Woohoo, they did it! The show was tons of fun, showing three people per episode doing generally bizarre crafty things, though I could definitely see why I would <strong>not</strong> have been an appropriate choice for the hosting gig. They went with a lovely lady who fit the previously-defined craft show mold perfectly, and it was clear that all the stuff they had originally said about wanting to be <em>"not your grandmother's craft show"</em> was toned down a bit in favor of comfortable routine - perfectly understandable, they don't want to risk losing their viewers. Besides, the host doesn't even get to do anything, just say a few words in between segments like "wasn't that cool?". So given the choice, I'd much rather do a segment and actually get to <strong><em>make</em></strong> something. What was really odd was that, just after the show ended, I got a call from the <strong>"CC2C"</strong> people asking if I still wanted to make faerie wings for them because they were finally planning their Chicago trip. So we set everything up, and they ended up asking me to do two segments, one for the wings and one for that lovely <strong><a href="http://willowtechhouse.com/ori_sushi.html" target="_blank">"Megami Sushi Roll"</a></strong> soap that we sell on WTH (one of our best selling products by the way, and I'm telling you how you can make it at home...good thinking). Yipee, I get two segments, the first in the show, and the last!
Cut to Friday the 5th of November. It's the day of the Dresden Dolls show. I had just dyed my hair the night before and it came out this glorious shade of pinky-orange. I loved it with my whole heart.
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair2.jpg" border="2">
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair5.jpg" border="2">
The HGTV crew was to tape at my house the very next day, and were coming over that morning for an hour just to inspect the house and see that everything was in order and ready for shooting. I had dressed for the day, and do keep in mind that I was going out that night, though you don't really need to because I would wear this ensemble on any given day, but this is what I was wearing:
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair3.jpg" border="2">
You can't see my combats, but, trust me, they're in there. (BTW, I don't really tower above my front door, I was standing on a chair so I could reach the mirror.)
When the two ladies (director and producer) came to my door that morning, I sensed a little bit of <em>"oh shit." </em> Truth be told, they were so completely awesome and very sweet, and I knew instantly that the problem was not with them, but with the exec. producer back in LA who would likely not air my segments if I appeared the way I was at that precise moment. Here's the way they put it: <em>"We want to sex up HGTV, but in baby steps, and you're like a giant leap."</em> That's when I realized that I am so used to myself and my friends and our way of being that I have no concept of how peculiar I might look to the average middle American housewife (sorry, you know how I despise that word, but I do think that's the target market here). To me, I am normal, my hair is normal, the above outfit is normal, and not in any way provocative beyond the standards of most female street wear. But the last thing I wanted to do was to make anyone uncomortable, and I wanted to respect their current viewing audiece (I have enough opportunity to push the boundries and fuck with the status quo in my own life, I didn't need to do that here), so I agreed to do anything I could to fit into what they felt they could put on the air. They were pretty relieved to hear this, probably having thought I'd put up a massive fight or be offended or something of that sort. I wasn't, I actually do understand where they're coming from, and it wasn't personal.
So the rules were: darken the hair, don't wear a skirt, don't wear black, don't wear red, don't wear spiked cuffs, don't have black finger nails, don't have a low neckline, don't wear anything with logos or designs on it which are undoubtedly copywritten. Funny enough, the only thing that passed was my make-up which admittedly was pretty average - lip gloss, brown shadow, and mascara. I went into my closet and pulled out some three-quarter length black pants that I got from one of <strong>The Chelsea's</strong> stylists, and asked the HGTV ladies if these would be acceptable, along with my stripey stockings (which would only show for about 8 inches) and my boots, as long as I found some plain-colored conservative tops for them to choose from. To my great relief they said <em>"yes,"</em> so my bottom half was in order.
Now I just had to go shopping for some plain tops, dye my hair a darker shade of red <em>(sob, sob)</em> and finish preparations for the soap and wings which, truth be told, were not exactly ready to go (I had to make all the steps, you know, like a cooking show where they have one item already done and sitting in the oven, and three others that are at different states of doneness...when you're hand-painting very large wings this is kind of a big deal). I was beyond overwhelmed (I'd already been working around the clock for the past week to get to this state of readyness, and was ridiculously sleep-deprived).
I knew in my heart that I may not see my current hair color - yes, that which I only got to enjoy for a few hours - for a short while, so I took a few pics to remind myself of the happy times:
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair4.jpg" border="2">
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair6.jpg" border="2">
<img src="http://www.emilieautumn.com/posts/CC2CDay/orangehair1.jpg" border="2">
Then off I go to a nearby clothing store and buy five cheap-ass pink tops (pink was an agreed upon color so I went for that full steam ahead). To make up for my plain and somewhat drab choices, I consoled myself with a black fishnet hoodie, a candy pink tee with "I *HEART* NERDS" on it, and a handbag with a picture of Tinkerbell flying over London (now that's a sweet find). I also go to Sally Beauty Supply and buy some boring-ass auburn semi-perm hair dye, all the while dying inside (darker colors take so long to get out, making getting back to my pinky-orange that much more of a pain in my sweet arse, fuck fuck fuck!!!).
<strong>Please Stay Tuned for Chapter II of "The Haunted Lozenge" or "Crafting and Other Victorian Horrors"</strong>
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I'm sorry you had to darken your hair, the pink is definitely hott!
